This hurts and by far might be one of the hardest things we will have to do in life, but unfortunately it happens to most of us. In an unhealthy relationship, often we lose focus on how much fun life should be on a daily basis. We work to find happiness, we struggle so often, we pray the next fight doesn’t happen and we keep our fingers crossed that it will get better. How many days do we go through where we just hope the next day is different? The worst part is that love is holding onto us mentally, painting the same picture that we think will change with time.
With unhealthy relationships we ever so often are blinded and shadowed by the true meaning of how we should be living. There are times we find ourselves upset, hurt, confused, worried and distraught… all the time. For what? Because of the relationship we chose to be in, with the person who is supposed to be our partner in crime, isn’t going how it used to be? The worst part of all this is that we drag it on. We hold on with a tight grip imagining how nice it was and how amazing it could be. But then we just play the same game. We run our lives in circles feeling emotionally broken while still connected by the idea that love will push us through it. This blog just allows you to understand the basics on walking away from this unhealthy relationship, as hard as it sounds, to make a better YOU, for the new days in your life to come.
There are three main steps we will cover to give you the tools needed in getting out of this relationship. The first is understanding it is the right choice to move on. This doesn’t mean that it is the right choice to leave your relationship, but it requires you to look at it and analyze it. A good way to do this is jot down some notes… Is the other person making you feel better then you do bad? Are they really trying day in and day out to make the relationship better? And improve it? Have you been progressing, even if it is the slightest bit? And last but not least… are you happy?
This is essential for you to understand your relationship. You need to know if you are actually progressing, what is working, and if not, you need to understand what impact this is having on your life. You need to step to the side and look at your life. Look and see how fast time is passing. One day we were babbling on utter jiberish, then grade school, now growing up so fast we keep saying to ourselves “I cannot believe it is almost April…April 2015.” This needs to impact you and tell you how important your life is to YOU and how it needs to be enjoyable.
This is where we understand that it is the right choice to move on from this unhealthy relationship. This brings us to step two. Step two is creating the optimal exit strategy. I know this sounds all 007 and secret agent, and in some ways it is. Good chances are the relationship you are in has been going on for quite some time now. You might be going to school with that person, working with them, living together, have children together, or even married. All of this effects how we are going to get out of this relationship. You have to establish a perfect way of getting to the new step in life and good chances are it will take time.
So out of the millions of different relationships we all have, we can narrow the exit strategy down and create a simple plan. If you work with them, then you need to find a new job. Same goes if you live with that person. YOU need to find a new place even if it is your place you are currently living at (it will all work itself out). You have to be the proactive person because as much as we want to believe it, that other person isn’t going to be ok with this and will not be cooperating. If you have kids, you need to look into all options from schooling to day care, from living situations, to even long distance custody. Whatever it will take to move on, and start living your life. The whole point of this is that YOU and only YOU have to be the one to take control of this, handle every possible scenario that might happen, and commit. Committing is going to be so hard at first, but will only create happiness in the long run.
Now that we have this plan of action, it is time for us to follow and commit to it. Now we are ready to put it in action and move onto step three. Step three is dealing with the pain and sadness while disconnecting your emotions from that person. The pain will hurt, it will break you inside, but it is only temporary and you need to know you got this. Write it on the bathroom mirror, put in on the lock screen of your phone, but just make sure you don’t forget at any point that you got this. You need to always remind yourself why you are walking away, why you deserve better and don’t want pain any more. Feel the sadness you are going through and use it to fuel your fire of a new beginning. YOU want to be happy and YOU want to smile and never stop. YOU never want to forget how good your life is and how great things will keep getting.
With all of this just make sure you keep the future in mind and the number one focus of that future…YOU. Life is flying right by us so lets get a kite and laugh trying to fly it. I know this might be one of the hardest things you ever do, but don’t jeopardize a good laugh for the possibility of something that just isn’t happening. YOU got this. Now make it happen.